Have you ever read something that touched you, or spoke to you in just the way you needed it to, interesting isn't it. There is something about words, but what is it. How is it that words express our uniquenesses and samenesses, that words can convey nothing and everything at the same time. How could such a paradox be so empowering? We may never know, but what we do know is that words touch us and empower us to be who we are, how we are.
It's the new year. Time for new experiences, and new explorations. Like songs, poetry has that sultry way of touching us. It's sexy and alluring yet simple. It's suggestive and filled with innuendo. So, for the new year let's explore the experience of poetry.
I had the honor of meeting Malcolm Varner, a writer/blogger. His first book is titled Looking Beyond the Storm: Selections of Poetry, and he is currently working on two other works to self-publish. In addition to these books, Malcolm also authors the blogs Living to Write and Writing to Live, and My Brotha's Keeper. The first provides reflections on inspirational themes and targets others who could benefit from daily messages of encouragement, while the second provides reflections on experiences targeting same-gender-loving men of color. To learn more about the talented Mr. Varner visit http://www.malcolmvarner.com/. You can also check out his blog at http://www.living2write.blogspot.com/
Readers, I would like to invite you to take a moment to be free of the box we call mainstream. As you read and listen to the music let the seduction take over you.
This month I experienced what it was like to walk around in what some would consider lewd, strange, exciting, arousing, funny, crazy, and many other things. In New York someone started the annual no pants subway ride. People would get on the NY subway systems and ride around without any pants. This evet has recently made it's way to the Bay Area. This January was the 2nd annual no pants BART ride. On January 9, 2011 people were invited to come out at 12noon dressed as one normally would with the exception of pants. You could wear whatever you wanted as long as you had on no pants. All pantless riders came from all areas of the SF/Bay Area and met at Powell Street Station. We then walked around as though it was a normal day.
So why would people ride around on public transit without pants.
Some may do it because it was a fun silly thing to do, some may do it because they wanted to be comfortable, some wish for a day where they can wear little clothes, some enjoy exposing themselves (even if its just in undies) in public, some like to watch others when they don't know they are being watched (so they came to watch). I am not sure why people came to the event but I came in hopes of exploring what its like to public expose myself and watch others (though they knew I was watching ).
People like to expose themselves in public and some like watching others, are you serious?
For some people the vary idea of showing your "goodies" or your undies to unsuspecting people has no sex appeal; for others it does. This is often referred to as Exhibitionism. Wikipedia defines this as " colloquially referred to flashing, is behavior by a person that involves the exposure of private parts of his or her body to another person in a situation when they would not normally be exposed, such as in a public place, with a tendency toward an extravagant. The act may be at least partially sexual or intended to attract the attention of another or others, or to shock. Some people have a psychological compulsion to sexually expose themselves. The condition is sometimes called apodysophilia. In some situations exposing in public is a crime of indecent exposure or public nuisance. Though the offense is not often prosecuted, it is taken especially seriously when the flasher is a man."
This can come in all forms: mooning, flashing, lifting your skirt to expose undies/or no undies, and sex in public
For others, watching people is what really gets their jets warmed up. This is known as Voyeurism. Wikipedia defines this as "In clinical psychology, voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other activity usually considered to be of a private nature. In popular imagination the term is used in a more general sense to refer to someone who habitually observes others without their knowledge, with no necessary implication of sexual interest"
This can come in all forms also but is usually reserved for people who watch others without their knowing.
Some argue that this is ok when done in controlled settings and not with minors, and others argue it is not ok and it may be a sign of psychological dysfunction. I am not here to argue either, my goal is to expose you to the variations of sexuality, sexual exploration, and sexual expression.
These two sexual concepts are often seen in popular media and current adult entertainment. Janet Jackson talks about exhibitionism in her song "anytime, anyplace". We see voyeurism in adult entertainment niches. Like BDSM we may have a little bit of voyeurism or exhibitionism in our own sexual practices. For example, have you ever taken your clothes off in front of your open curtains? Perhaps you thought about people seeing you but thought it may be a little naught if someone accidentally sees. Or maybe you showed up somewhere for a hot night wearing only a trench coat ready to reveal your life creation. Perhaps you saw someone who wasn't wearing underwear and instead of telling them they were exposed you just kept looking. The list goes on.
Keeping all this in mind I invite you to take an adventure with me. The following film is from the 2011 no pants BART ride. Enjoy.
You never know what people are into just by looking at them. I hope that by using current events, in creative ways, to inform people about various sexual outlets will encourage you to explore your whole sexual self, and ask questions freely and comfortably.
For more information on any of the topics discussed or any other topics email theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com
Did you know every six seconds someone is infected with HIV. Did you know in the southern parts of African 50% of women are living with AIDS.The statistics are alarming current rates of HIV/AIDS is rising in young people and women of color; African American women have the highest rates currently in the United States. For world AIDS awareness day I hope to encourage people to get tested and provide information about the disease and resources for those currently living with AIDS.
In undergrad I had an amazing opportunity to volunteer for the SF AIDS Foundation. SFAF offers referrals to testing clinics, housing options, treatment programs, health care, and other therapeutic resources. By calling 800-342-AIDS you can speak with a trained HIV/AIDS hotline worker who offer confidential counseling regarding HIV/AIDS, you can also request booklets/readings on HIV/AIDS and other related STIs/illnesses. In addition, they offer a risk assessment over the phone free of charge. This is a great resource available to anyone who calls.
Getting Tested
It is really easy to do and is painless. Usually a small oral fluid sample, sometimes blood or urine, is taken to test for HIV antibodies. Currently the Rapid Test is the easiest and quickest option which takes about 20 minutes for results. Other tests available are the EIA test, RNA Tests, and Home Tests.
Where Do I Go?
Most clinics like Planned Parenthood provide HIV Testing free of charge. You can also ask you usual health care provider to be tested. Testing is now available on campuses. Berkeley High offers a free clinic on campus that offer testing and options for safer sex. Another great program that I had the opportunity to work with as a Human Sexuality Peer Educator is the P.E.A.C.H. Program. SFSU students can stop by and find out more information about HIV/AIDS and other related sexual concerns. Today they will have an event on campus for World AIDS day stop by and check out their table 11AM-8PM.
What is the difference between Anonymous and Confidential Testing
Anonymous testing: You will not be required to give your name or any identifying information during the testing or counseling process. Usually places give you a unique code to remember that is not attached to your health file. The code is strictly for purposes of having a way to get your results.
Confidential Testing: Requires you to give your name, social security number, and date of birth. Since April 2006 some testing sites must send your information to San Francisco Department of Public Health's AIDS office if you test positive.
When you go for testing make sure you specify which type of testing you would like to have done.
How Can I Get HIV/AIDS?
Most people believe that only gay people can transmit the disease but this is untrue. Anyone can contract HIV/AIDS.
HIV/AIDS is contracted from unprotected anal, vaginal, or oral sex; people who already have a STI are at a higher risk for getting HIV than those who have no history of STI's.
HIV/AIDS is also contracted from sharing needles with others (if you or someone you know needs more information on getting clean needles please contact the HIV/AIDS foundation and ask about the needle exchange program)
TO SUM: One can get HIV the following body fluids if that fluid has the HIV virus: *Blood *Semen *Breast Milk *Vaginal Fluids
TO SUM: These behaviors can potentially put one at risk for contracting HIV: Rough vaginal/anal sex, Vaginal/anal sex, Dry vaginal/anal sex, Oral sex(risk is higher if there are open sores in the mouth or cuts on gums from brushing), Fingering, Breast Feeding, Sharing Drug needles, "blood Sister/Brother" pacts, or any other acts that may put one in contact with any/all of the above body fluids.
Though this is a serious concern people can live healthy meaningful lives after being infected with HIV or living with AIDS; it is no longer to be a death sentence. There are medications and treatments that can help one live a healthy life. It also doesn't mean that this is the end of one's sex life. There are plenty of options that are useful in having a healthy sex life and continuing a family.
It is important to get tested. It is better to know than not to know. It's better to protect yourself than not protect yourself. Awareness is KEY.
Everyone has found a special way to help ease the pain of loosing a loved one to AIDS and to remember them. The AIDS Memorial quilt has served this purpose for many people. For more information on the AIDS Quilt please log on to their site.
For questions or more information on AIDS or any other topic please email to theesexdoc,blogspt@gmail.com.
Referrals:
National HIV and STD Testing Resources: http://www.hivtest.org
I had the random opportunity to meet an outreach team from Berkeley Free Clinic. They were telling me a little about the clinic and services offered; I even got a care package of non-latex (Trojan Supra) condoms, and ID Glide Lube in convenient size small square black packages. Even being in the setting they were in they provided discrete services and had information available for every topic. This Mobil One Stop Health Truck offers a variety of services; even more are available at their site on Durant Ave. in Berkeley.
They are a great resource for the community you can get lots of Information and Resources, Attend to General Medical Needs, Dental Services, HIV Prevention, Peer Counseling, and Hepatitis Testing.
They are open Monday - Friday: 3pm - 9pm Saturdays: 8am - 5pm Sundays: 4pm - 7pm
They are located at 339 Durant Ave Berkeley, CA 94704
Call them at (510) 548-2570 or 1/800-6-CLINIC
Log on at www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org
Email info@berkeleyfreeclinic.org website@berkeleyfreeclinic.org <--(no longer a working email)
Send Mail to 2339 Durant Ave. Berkeley, CA 94704
This facility is operated by donations and volunteers of all sorts. Due to recent cutbacks nation wide Berkeley Health Clinic has lost a significant amount of funding. Also, there has been a decline in volunteers.
What Can I Do To Help?
There are many ways that you can help from donating a few dollars to volunteering your time; all of which is greatly appreciated.
Volunteer Currently, volunteers are needed for, The Information Resource collective (IRC), the Medical Section, Gay Men's Health, and The Dental Section. The following link http://www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org/volunteer.html will provide more information on all of these volunteer opportunities and much more.
Donate You can donate in many ways. To donate Medical/Office supplies, or computer equipment please call the clinic for more information.
You can also make Tax Deductible donations by writing a check payable to the Berkeley Free Clinic please send them to:
Berkeley Free Clinic/Web Donation 2339 Durant Ave. Berkeley, Ca 94704
To make an online donation please click the following link http://www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org/donations.html and clink on the link to donate online.
I have gotten several questions about people in the porn industry becoming infected with sex related illnesses, and wither or not the industry is safe. This is my attempt to provide information on what I know about the porn industry and their safe sex practices. I hope that you can take this information and decide for yourself if it is safe or not.
When people watch porn they usually are not concerned about the participants having safe sex. Most people are concentrated more on the sex acts. Have you ever watched an adult movie and wondered if the woman was on birth control, if both of them have had a recent STI screening, if they will use condoms, or many other safe sex related questions. Do you take the time to see if there is a condom or dental dam used? Most likely not. I hope that this can provide light to the recent incidents of HIV in the porn industry.
Even in this genre of entertainment we often fail to realize that all that glitters is not gold. Just because we assume these stars are practicing safe sex does not mean that they are. In my research I have found one company, Wikid Pictures, that uses condoms in their films; this is not to say this is the only production that does. So what is the doc trying to tell you?
If condoms are not being used how do the film stars protect themselves from STI's? Before the 80's there were no regulations on condom use or testing for adult film actors/actresses. Some companies used condoms some did not. During the 80's John Holmes, Mark Stevens, and a few others discovered they were HIV positive. In a way these people opened the door for a positive change in how people in the industry protect themselves. As a result the U.S. passed a law stating that adult film stars must be tested every 30 days for HIV/STI's. Though these laws are in place there is still no sure way that the performers are infection free. Yes, two people may come together for a scene and at that time they may have no infection. What they do after their work is done in their personal sex life, and is up to them. They may engage in behaviors that can expose them to STIs/HIV we really don't know. In 1998 AIM opened its doors. AIm: Adult Industry Medical Healthcare is an organization that offers STI/HIV testing for people in the adult movie industry. They also offer other services for people in the business.
If a person tests positive they are placed on a quarantine list by AIM. Usually the porn industry is placed on hold until further testing is done. The people who were in a scene with the infected person is also tested. If there is a positive test the stars can not perform until they have a negative test. If a person is infected with HIV they are usually not allowed back in the business. Some people resort working in underground films who use less discretion when allowing adult starts to perform in films.
In 2004 actor Darren James was infected with HIV and passed the infection to two other female co-workers. His story about how he got his infection, and his beliefs about the industry are very educational. I encourage you to read the article written about him in the L.A. Times (below is the link to the article). http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/10/former-porn-star-darren-james-speaks-out-about-latest-hiv-case.html
In October 2010 another actor was placed on the quarantine list after testing positive for HIV. One could wonder how this could happen if stars are tested every 30 days. There are many reasons why; the one that I find most important is that stars are not using condoms during scenes. Though cases of HIV seem rare we do not know how often people are infected with other STIs and if the performers are spreading work related infections to their personal sex partners.
Perhaps the taboos associated with porn, especially those that perform in them, make it harder to regulate the safety of those in the business. Porn is often thought of as perfect sex, your fantasy coming true, the ideal way to have sex, the perfect man/woman, maybe condom use dulls these fantasies associated porn. It is also important to note that these risks are the same for gay porn, and all other genres of porn; not just straight porn.
To sum, in some ways there is safe sex in the industry. On other aspects of safe sex there is not. I hope that this information can allow for critical thinking of changes that need to take place in the regulation of safe sex practices. Just because it is filmed does not lower the performers risk of contracting sex related infections. It is also important that we know this information as consumers for often it is hard to separate reality from actuality. No, condoms don't feel good but they are important in protecting one against STI's/HIV. More people watch porn now than ever, often it is the only tool of sex education one has. It can be potentially harmful for society if the industry does not take the steps to model safer sex options. This is especially a crucial element for those that use porn as sex education and those that associate porn sex with sex that is not scripted for entertainment purposes.
If you have any questions about the adult entertainment industry or any other sex related questions please email them to theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com
When you think about a saxophone what do you think of? Sex?
Why is the saxophone a representation of sex in musical form? Why do we play soft jazz with a saxophone when we are trying to set a romantic sensual mood? Why is the sax associated only with romance and not other forms of sexual expression?
Saxophone: A woodwind instrument made of brass. It is played by blowing into a single-reed mouthpiece. It was first created by Adolphe Sax in 1841. It was originally designed for military bands, later it became common in concert band and big band music. Also, it is common in jazz music.
I was hoping to have an answer for these questions after doing research, but I don't. There is not much info on why people like saxophone music as a background for a romantic date, sex, or whatever sensual sexual expression they are engaging in. I believe the saxophone is a symbol for sex for many reasons, but these reasons are unconscious connections we have made from several sources. For one, when we see sex in the media or something sensual there is usually some soft jazz, most likely a sax solo, playing in the background. Someone is moving slowly in a sexually suggestive way, engaging in a sex act, or even kissing to soft saxophone jazz. Even romantic moments depicted in media include jazz music. So, on some level one has been socialized to associate the saxophone with sexuality. Another factor that may affect the association of the sax and sex is its close name association. By simply changing one vowel you can turn the name of an instrument into the name of coitus. This association may have some implications as to why the two seem so related. Lastly, music can be a great tool for facilitating a connection with one's body. When we have a strong connection with our body we are often more free as a sexual being. Most cultural dances relate to a fertility dance, and they help one get in contact with their sexual self. For example, the hip movement of the hula dancers are directly connected with the same muscles used in sexual intercourse and orgasm. By learning to identify and isolate the muscles in the pelvic area the dancers are inadvertently strengthening and learning to use their pelvic muscles. Thus, giving them better control than a non-dancer when using these same muscles sexually. Have you ever notice yourself becoming aroused after dancing to a favorite song or a sultry mix with someone you are attracted to, or even while dancing by yourself.
When we think of jazz we think of slow, sensual, soft, intimate, loving sexual expression thru music. Most people know and love jazz for helping convey this mood. This is a great mood it is a great feeling, but I would like to invite you to look at jazz in a new light.
What if I told you jazz could be used for a background for any and all sex acts; ranging from a romantic wedding celebration to a night in the dungeon. Sometimes music can set the tone completely different than you expected. Does it sound sensual and soft because that is the context the music is in? Perhaps. What if we took this same saxophone jazz and used it as the background of a BDSM scene. Would it then make the sex act more sensual, soft, intimate, arousing? Or would it still have the rough, dark, hardcore appeal with jazz awkwardly playing in the background.
I ask that you read further with a blank slate an open mine and take an exploration with me. I met a saxophone player one day and I was drawn to his work. His music has classical sounds of the saxophone mixed with a new school twist. Mixing his sax with drums and other elements mad his album Saxual Healing great for all moods and ages. He describes this album as "mellow and sultry, smooth and relaxing". Perfect for a romantic night out, light bondage, maybe some spanking or even a round of tantric loving.
Let us explore the concept of jazz in non traditional settings. The following is a film created from footage from the 2010 Folsom Fair. The fair is known for its displays of bondage, flogging, and paddling demonstrations. Men and women walking around in leather chaps, cock rings, slaves, and sex swings. People in latex outfits and human ponies provide something for everyone in the world of Kink. Usually hardcore rock, dungeon music, rock, or metal music accompanies these events making for a hardcore scene. Its musical element adds fear, suspense, interest, and other things. But what if soft jazz was playing, would it be more interesting, would it interest you more, would it allow you to look past the chains and whips? Would it portray a loving couple engaging a sensual expression of their sexual self? As you watch the following clip keep that in mind and be open to the mood the music and the visual media is setting for you.
Presenting Folsom 2010 in "Blue Light" music by Mark Maxwell
For more information on "Saxual Healing" and other music by Mark Maxwell log onto http://markmaxwellmusic.com/ You can follow him on twitter @MarkSaxMaxwell. He is also on Facebook become a fan Mark Maxwell Music.
To buy "Saxual Healing" Log onto his website or you can purchase from itune
For more info about this blog post, sex and music, or BDSM contact theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com
I had the honor of meeting Malcolm Varner, a writer/blogger. His first book is titled Looking Beyond the Storm: Selections of Poetry, and he is currently working on two other works to self-publish. In addition to these books, Malcolm also authors the blogs Living to Write and Writing to Live, and My Brotha's Keeper. The first provides reflections on inspirational themes and targets others who could benefit from daily messages of encouragement, while the second provides reflections on experiences targeting same-gender-loving men of color. To learn more about the talented Mr. Varner visit http://www.malcolmvarner.com/. You can also check out his blog at http://www.living2write.blogspot.com/
