World AIDS Awareness 2010

Did you know every six seconds someone is infected with HIV. Did you know in the southern parts of African 50% of women are living with AIDS.The statistics are alarming current rates of HIV/AIDS is rising in young people and women of color; African American women have the highest rates currently in the United States. For world AIDS awareness day I hope to encourage people to get tested and provide information about the disease and resources for those currently living with AIDS.




In undergrad I had an amazing opportunity to volunteer for the SF AIDS Foundation. SFAF offers referrals to testing clinics, housing options, treatment programs, health care, and other therapeutic resources. By calling 800-342-AIDS you can speak with a trained HIV/AIDS hotline worker who offer confidential counseling regarding HIV/AIDS, you can also request booklets/readings on HIV/AIDS and other related STIs/illnesses. In addition, they offer a risk assessment over the phone free of charge. This is a great resource available to anyone who calls.


Getting Tested

It is really easy to do and is painless. Usually a small oral fluid sample, sometimes blood or urine, is taken to test for HIV antibodies. Currently the Rapid Test is the easiest and quickest option which takes about 20 minutes for results. Other tests available are the EIA test, RNA Tests, and Home Tests.

Where Do I Go?

Most clinics like Planned Parenthood provide HIV Testing free of charge. You can also ask you usual health care provider to be tested. Testing is now available on campuses. Berkeley High offers a free clinic on campus that offer testing and options for safer sex. Another great program that I had the opportunity to work with as a Human Sexuality Peer Educator is the P.E.A.C.H. Program. SFSU students can stop by and find out more information about HIV/AIDS and other related sexual concerns. Today they will have an event on campus for World AIDS day stop by and check out their table 11AM-8PM.

What is the difference between Anonymous and Confidential Testing

Anonymous testing: You will not be required to give your name or any identifying information during the testing or counseling process. Usually places give you a unique code to remember that is not attached to your health file. The code is strictly for purposes of having a way to get your results.

Confidential Testing: Requires you to give your name, social security number, and date of birth. Since April 2006 some testing sites must send your information to San Francisco Department of Public Health's AIDS office if you test positive.

When you go for testing make sure you specify which type of testing you would like to have done.

How Can I Get HIV/AIDS?

Most people believe that only gay people can transmit the disease but this is untrue. Anyone can contract HIV/AIDS.

HIV/AIDS is contracted from unprotected anal, vaginal, or oral sex; people who already have a STI are at a higher risk for getting HIV than those who have no history of STI's.

HIV/AIDS is also contracted from sharing needles with others (if you or someone you know needs more information on getting clean needles please contact the HIV/AIDS foundation and ask about the needle exchange program)

TO SUM: One can get HIV the following body fluids if that fluid has the HIV virus:
*Blood
*Semen
*Breast Milk
*Vaginal Fluids

TO SUM: These behaviors can potentially put one at risk for contracting HIV:
Rough vaginal/anal sex, Vaginal/anal sex, Dry vaginal/anal sex, Oral sex(risk is higher if there are open sores in the mouth or cuts on gums from brushing), Fingering, Breast Feeding, Sharing Drug needles, "blood Sister/Brother" pacts, or any other acts that may put one in contact with any/all of the above body fluids.


Though this is a serious concern people can live healthy meaningful lives after being infected with HIV or living with AIDS; it is no longer to be a death sentence. There are medications and treatments that can help one live a healthy life. It also doesn't mean that this is the end of one's sex life. There are plenty of options that are useful in having a healthy sex life and continuing a family.

It is important to get tested. It is better to know than not to know. It's better to protect yourself than not protect yourself. Awareness is KEY.

Everyone has found a special way to help ease the pain of loosing a loved one to AIDS and to remember them. The AIDS Memorial quilt has served this purpose for many people. For more information on the AIDS Quilt please log on to their site.

For questions or more information on AIDS or any other topic please email to theesexdoc,blogspt@gmail.com.

Referrals:

National HIV and STD Testing Resources:
http://www.hivtest.org

P.E.A.C.H.:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000338619850&v=info

SF AIDS Foundation:
http://www.sfaf.org/

Planned Parenthood:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/index.htm?gclid=CPXcl8Xiy6UCFRBNgwodxleyjg

San Francisco HIV
http://sfhiv.org/

AIDS Memorial Quilt:
http://www.aidsquilt.org/

Community Update: Berkeley Free Clinic

I had the random opportunity to meet an outreach team from Berkeley Free Clinic. They were telling me a little about the clinic and services offered; I even got a care package of non-latex (Trojan Supra) condoms, and ID Glide Lube in convenient size small square black packages. Even being in the setting they were in they provided discrete services and had information available for every topic. This Mobil One Stop Health Truck offers a variety of services; even more are available at their site on Durant Ave. in Berkeley.

They are a great resource for the community you can get lots of Information and Resources, Attend to General Medical Needs, Dental Services, HIV Prevention, Peer Counseling, and Hepatitis Testing.

They are open
Monday - Friday: 3pm - 9pm
Saturdays: 8am - 5pm
Sundays: 4pm - 7pm

They are located at
339 Durant Ave
Berkeley, CA 94704

Call them at
(510) 548-2570 or 1/800-6-CLINIC

Log on at
www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org

Email
info@berkeleyfreeclinic.org
website@berkeleyfreeclinic.org <--(no longer a working email)

Send Mail to
2339 Durant Ave.
Berkeley, CA 94704

This facility is operated by donations and volunteers of all sorts. Due to recent cutbacks nation wide Berkeley Health Clinic has lost a significant amount of funding. Also, there has been a decline in volunteers.


What Can I Do To Help?

There are many ways that you can help from donating a few dollars to volunteering your time; all of which is greatly appreciated.

Volunteer
Currently, volunteers are needed for, The Information Resource collective (IRC), the Medical Section, Gay Men's Health, and The Dental Section. The following link http://www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org/volunteer.html will provide more information on all of these volunteer opportunities and much more.

Donate
You can donate in many ways. To donate Medical/Office supplies, or computer equipment please call the clinic for more information.

You can also make Tax Deductible donations by writing a check payable to the Berkeley Free Clinic please send them to:

Berkeley Free Clinic/Web Donation
2339 Durant Ave.
Berkeley, Ca 94704

To make an online donation please click the following link http://www.berkeleyfreeclinic.org/donations.html and clink on the link to donate online.

Porn and Safe Sex: Does it exist?

I have gotten several questions about people in the porn industry becoming infected with sex related illnesses, and wither or not the industry is safe. This is my attempt to provide information on what I know about the porn industry and their safe sex practices. I hope that you can take this information and decide for yourself if it is safe or not.

When people watch porn they usually are not concerned about the participants having safe sex. Most people are concentrated more on the sex acts. Have you ever watched an adult movie and wondered if the woman was on birth control, if both of them have had a recent STI screening, if they will use condoms, or many other safe sex related questions. Do you take the time to see if there is a condom or dental dam used? Most likely not. I hope that this can provide light to the recent incidents of HIV in the porn industry.

Even in this genre of entertainment we often fail to realize that all that glitters is not gold. Just because we assume these stars are practicing safe sex does not mean that they are. In my research I have found one company, Wikid Pictures, that uses condoms in their films; this is not to say this is the only production that does. So what is the doc trying to tell you?

If condoms are not being used how do the film stars protect themselves from STI's?
Before the 80's there were no regulations on condom use or testing for adult film actors/actresses. Some companies used condoms some did not. During the 80's John Holmes, Mark Stevens, and a few others discovered they were HIV positive. In a way these people opened the door for a positive change in how people in the industry protect themselves. As a result the U.S. passed a law stating that adult film stars must be tested every 30 days for HIV/STI's. Though these laws are in place there is still no sure way that the performers are infection free. Yes, two people may come together for a scene and at that time they may have no infection. What they do after their work is done in their personal sex life, and is up to them. They may engage in behaviors that can expose them to STIs/HIV we really don't know. In 1998 AIM opened its doors. AIm: Adult Industry Medical Healthcare is an organization that offers STI/HIV testing for people in the adult movie industry. They also offer other services for people in the business.


If a person tests positive they are placed on a quarantine list by AIM. Usually the porn industry is placed on hold until further testing is done. The people who were in a scene with the infected person is also tested. If there is a positive test the stars can not perform until they have a negative test. If a person is infected with HIV they are usually not allowed back in the business. Some people resort working in underground films who use less discretion when allowing adult starts to perform in films.

In 2004 actor Darren James was infected with HIV and passed the infection to two other female co-workers. His story about how he got his infection, and his beliefs about the industry are very educational. I encourage you to read the article written about him in the L.A. Times (below is the link to the article).
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/10/former-porn-star-darren-james-speaks-out-about-latest-hiv-case.html

In October 2010 another actor was placed on the quarantine list after testing positive for HIV. One could wonder how this could happen if stars are tested every 30 days. There are many reasons why; the one that I find most important is that stars are not using condoms during scenes. Though cases of HIV seem rare we do not know how often people are infected with other STIs and if the performers are spreading work related infections to their personal sex partners.

Perhaps the taboos associated with porn, especially those that perform in them, make it harder to regulate the safety of those in the business. Porn is often thought of as perfect sex, your fantasy coming true, the ideal way to have sex, the perfect man/woman, maybe condom use dulls these fantasies associated porn. It is also important to note that these risks are the same for gay porn, and all other genres of porn; not just straight porn.

To sum, in some ways there is safe sex in the industry. On other aspects of safe sex there is not. I hope that this information can allow for critical thinking of changes that need to take place in the regulation of safe sex practices. Just because it is filmed does not lower the performers risk of contracting sex related infections. It is also important that we know this information as consumers for often it is hard to separate reality from actuality. No, condoms don't feel good but they are important in protecting one against STI's/HIV. More people watch porn now than ever, often it is the only tool of sex education one has. It can be potentially harmful for society if the industry does not take the steps to model safer sex options. This is especially a crucial element for those that use porn as sex education and those that associate porn sex with sex that is not scripted for entertainment purposes.

If you have any questions about the adult entertainment industry or any other sex related questions please email them to theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Sex Music

When you think about a saxophone what do you think of? Sex?

Why is the saxophone a representation of sex in musical form? Why do we play soft jazz with a saxophone when we are trying to set a romantic sensual mood? Why is the sax associated only with romance and not other forms of sexual expression?

Saxophone: A woodwind instrument made of brass. It is played by blowing into a single-reed mouthpiece. It was first created by Adolphe Sax in 1841. It was originally designed for military bands, later it became common in concert band and big band music. Also, it is common in jazz music.

I was hoping to have an answer for these questions after doing research, but I don't. There is not much info on why people like saxophone music as a background for a romantic date, sex, or whatever sensual sexual expression they are engaging in. I believe the saxophone is a symbol for sex for many reasons, but these reasons are unconscious connections we have made from several sources. For one, when we see sex in the media or something sensual there is usually some soft jazz, most likely a sax solo, playing in the background. Someone is moving slowly in a sexually suggestive way, engaging in a sex act, or even kissing to soft saxophone jazz. Even romantic moments depicted in media include jazz music. So, on some level one has been socialized to associate the saxophone with sexuality. Another factor that may affect the association of the sax and sex is its close name association. By simply changing one vowel you can turn the name of an instrument into the name of coitus. This association may have some implications as to why the two seem so related. Lastly, music can be a great tool for facilitating a connection with one's body. When we have a strong connection with our body we are often more free as a sexual being. Most cultural dances relate to a fertility dance, and they help one get in contact with their sexual self. For example, the hip movement of the hula dancers are directly connected with the same muscles used in sexual intercourse and orgasm. By learning to identify and isolate the muscles in the pelvic area the dancers are inadvertently strengthening and learning to use their pelvic muscles. Thus, giving them better control than a non-dancer when using these same muscles sexually. Have you ever notice yourself becoming aroused after dancing to a favorite song or a sultry mix with someone you are attracted to, or even while dancing by yourself.

When we think of jazz we think of slow, sensual, soft, intimate, loving sexual expression thru music. Most people know and love jazz for helping convey this mood. This is a great mood it is a great feeling, but I would like to invite you to look at jazz in a new light.

What if I told you jazz could be used for a background for any and all sex acts; ranging from a romantic wedding celebration to a night in the dungeon. Sometimes music can set the tone completely different than you expected. Does it sound sensual and soft because that is the context the music is in? Perhaps. What if we took this same saxophone jazz and used it as the background of a BDSM scene. Would it then make the sex act more sensual, soft, intimate, arousing? Or would it still have the rough, dark, hardcore appeal with jazz awkwardly playing in the background.


I ask that you read further with a blank slate an open mine and take an exploration with me. I met a saxophone player one day and I was drawn to his work. His music has classical sounds of the saxophone mixed with a new school twist. Mixing his sax with drums and other elements mad his album Saxual Healing great for all moods and ages. He describes this album as "mellow and sultry, smooth and relaxing". Perfect for a romantic night out, light bondage, maybe some spanking or even a round of tantric loving.


Let us explore the concept of jazz in non traditional settings. The following is a film created from footage from the 2010 Folsom Fair. The fair is known for its displays of bondage, flogging, and paddling demonstrations. Men and women walking around in leather chaps, cock rings, slaves, and sex swings. People in latex outfits and human ponies provide something for everyone in the world of Kink. Usually hardcore rock, dungeon music, rock, or metal music accompanies these events making for a hardcore scene. Its musical element adds fear, suspense, interest, and other things. But what if soft jazz was playing, would it be more interesting, would it interest you more, would it allow you to look past the chains and whips? Would it portray a loving couple engaging a sensual expression of their sexual self? As you watch the following clip keep that in mind and be open to the mood the music and the visual media is setting for you.

Presenting Folsom 2010 in "Blue Light" music by Mark Maxwell




For more information on "Saxual Healing" and other music by Mark Maxwell log onto http://markmaxwellmusic.com/
You can follow him on twitter @MarkSaxMaxwell. He is also on Facebook become a fan Mark Maxwell Music.

To buy "Saxual Healing" Log onto his website or you can purchase from itune

For more info about this blog post, sex and music, or BDSM contact theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Dial Up Your Love... What Happened to Phone Sex?

When I was younger I can remember 900 numbers being the numbers for adults. I don't remember why or how I knew that; I just knew it. I can also remember dialing the wrong number and hearing a lady on the other end sounding like she had been running and was trying to catch her breath and talk at the same time. I remember seeing the commercials late evening/night advertising live girls who were waiting to talk to you. It took me a while before I gathered that all these were advertisements for sex; phone sex. What makes this outlet so appealing to
people or why was it so popular I had no idea. Now, I wonder will they ever grow to the popularity they once were.

I decided to write about this topic after having a night out with some friends. I asked them what should I write about, and collectively the three of them came up with Phone Sex; the mystery of who is on the other side and what they are doing. The fantasy of the two of you doing something no one else know you are doing, or the "Phone Sex Voice". This is a look at phone sex before current technology was widely available. Numerous sexual outlets are now available on our command, anywhere we are. Before there was sexting there were live operators using their voice and imagination. Before there was internet porn there were 900 numbers. Before there were famous porn starts there were famous phone sex ladies. Modern for it's time and still available, though it is less appealing than buying a video or magazine, phone sex was the it thing in the world of sexual display for money.

What is Phone Sex? Phone Sex is type of sex that people engage in with the use of a telephone, cell phone, or something used to communicate with other people. It is usually a sexually explicit conversation that two or more people are having and at least one of these people is masturbating during the time. This can include people discussing various sexual fantasies, describing sex acts, sexual suggestions that are acted out, narrations, sexual sounds, or listing to those involved masturbating. This can also be done with text messages, internet chatting, webcam, or even email.

During the 90's phone sex was a popular sex outlet for people. For an average of $1.99 per minute people could talk to someone on the other end of the phone, usually a woman for as long as they wanted. The caller could act out whatever sex scene they wanted, calls usually last about 15 minutes. Phone sex was an outlet for everyone ranging from vanilla fantasies, ie. mutual masturbation, to extreme sex fantasies, ie. rough sex fantasies.

How It works: When phone sex lines were first available the caller would call a 900 number to reach a girl. Once the line is connected the caller was charged a fee, even if it was called by mistake. The longer the person stayed on the call the more the phone company would charge as a 900 toll fee. In some cases mistakes would happen and people would dial the wrong number. If a person called a phone sex line and disputed the call with their phone line provider the charges would be reversed, but the person's phone was blocked from calling any 900 numbers.

Eventually this form of billing became an issue after a regulation was passed in 1996 banning the use of toll 900 numbers to lower fraudulent calls. In addition, people were embarrassed when it was discovered they were calling 900 numbers decreasing the popularity of lines that were 900 toll calls. During this time cell phones were becoming a popular electronic device, this allowed people to find more private places to call the lines. It also meant people could not dial 900 lines from their cell phones. So, eventually the companies converted to using 800 numbers. Now, credit information, in some cases paypay, is recorded and processed before the session starts and the person is charged a flat rate for a specific period of time.

When in home media was available to more people at a cheaper price, and people could now get videos or order movies from the privacy of their home phone sex use declined. This was a better bang for one's buck and a more private option for consumers. Now, people also had the option of the local adult book stores and have access to all sorts of media; in some cases they could pay a few dollars to see a live girl dance in a box or masturbate. Sex was becoming available for sale in more ways than one, and phone sex on some level was not able to keep up with the trends.


Though phone sex is still available for customers, I believe, it lacks the quality it once had. Now, some companies use automated voices that give a pre-scripted performance. Because there is less money in this industry corporations are less likely to run the business, and there is a rise in independent workers. However, there is now competition between the independent workers to get work, and they charge more for the same service. Also, because most phone sex services are independently own there is less money to put into advertising making it harder for customers to know these services are available. So, this leaves customers with two choices; search for an independent operator or call a company that offers pre-scripted scenes. For most people, these choices seem grim compared to paying the same price for a live chat online. Still the same concept but you do not have to imagine as much; instead you get more show.

So has the sultry voice on the other end died? No. Are there still lines for those that love the mystery of who is on the other end? Yes. Will phone sex survive the technology boom? Maybe. Have you had phone sex before? Maybe, yes if you have done anything in the above definition of phone sex. Do people in relationships use this resources? Yes, it may or may not be with their current partner.

So the next time you send out a dirty text think about how far phone sex has come.

For more information on this subject or any other subject on sex please contact theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Multiple Orgasms: Men Want To Have Them Too

Most people assume that when a man has an orgasm there will also be a substance, semen, that spouts from his penis. It is assumed that the euphoric feeling in their body is a result of ejaculating; the theory of male orgasms. Often people don’t consider the possibility of ejaculating; the release of semen, is a result of an orgasm, or that ejaculation is not needed to have an orgasm.

Our culture has defined male orgasm as ejaculation and an overall good feeling followed by a rest period; usually the rest period is also the time in which a man can not obtain another erection for a certain amount of time. This is called the refractory period. We often fail to discuss the the true potential of the male orgasm. One sexual/spiritual practice that discusses this variation in sexual expression is Tantric Sex. People who practice Tantric Sex believe men, like women, are able to achieve multiple orgasms. Their practice includes the use of muscle control, breathing techniques, and ejaculation control. This type of male orgasm focuses on the euphoric feeling one has just before ejaculation. The goal is to achieve this feeling over and over without ejaculating. It is believed once one ejaculates this is the end f their sexual response cycle. To delay the ejaculation allows the male to have more than one orgasm, and one ejaculation. For some people the idea of holding one's ejaculation or not ejaculation during sex for a few day seems unrealistic, or undesirable. It may also seem like this is not a multiple orgasm. To those people I say the following: look at this technique from a different perspective, not from the traditional societal definition of orgasm. There has also been documentation of men who are able to have multiple orgasms that include multiple ejaculations. In theory they have no refractory period, or in some way they are able to override this phase of the Sexual Response Cycle (see previous post Orgasms: So Simple yet So Complex), but this outside of the scope of this discussion.


How Can I Have Multiple Orgasms?

Some people practice this by learning breathing techniques, learning about their bodies response, and using the “million-dollar-point” to stop ejaculation. This is located on the perineum just before the anus. If timed correctly pressure from your ring, middle, and pointer finger on the “million-dollar-point” can stop ejaculation.

Though multiple orgasms seem like something fun to try, it is not something that can be learned overnight. This skill requires practice, and patience before one is able to use the technique in their regular sex practice. In this section you will learn the basis of how to become capable of having multiple orgasms.

As previously stated, there are believed to be two types of multiple-male -orgasms; body orgasms and the ability to ejaculate multiple times. The following information is techniques that can be use for obtaining multiple-body-orgasms.

First, one must be familiar with the SRS -The Sexual Response Cycle- this is the process your body goes through before, during, and after sex. In the male sexual response period, the cycle ends at the refractory period. During this time the male is unable to achieve an erection for a certain period of time, and the penis may be to sensitive for stimulation The goal of the tantric practice is to not allow yourself to get to the refractory period but remain in the pleatu/orgasm phase of the cycle.

After you are aware of how the sexual response works your next steps is to working on strengthening your pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). These are the same muscles that women exercise by doing Kegels to help with child birth and to tighten the vagina. Your PC muscles play an important role in sex functioning as they also help with semen control, and erection firmness. The best way to find exactly what muscle this is is to stop and start the flow of your urine, or inserting a finger into the anus and contract if your anus contracts around your finger you are using your PC muscles. The goal is to be able to contract this muscle while keeping your buttocks, thighs, and abdomen muscles relaxed. You will need to train your muscles to make them stronger and to learn how to use them correctly; this process will take about 4 weeks and one should maintain the practice even after you have achieved your goals to keep your muscles strong.
Contract your PC muscles and hold the contraction for 1-2 seconds. Rest for the same time you held the contraction then repeat. Do this for 20reps 3X a day for one week.
Contract your PC muscles and hold the contraction for 2-4 seconds. Rest for the same time you held the contraction for then repeat. Do this for 40reps 3X a day for one week.
Contract your PC muscles and hold the contraction for 4-8 seconds. Rest for the same time you held the contraction then repeat. Do this for 80reps 3X a day for one week.
The last week your exercise will change slightly. Contract your PC muscles and hold the contraction for as long as you can, releasing slowly and rest for the same amount of time you held the contraction. Do this between 50-100reps 3X a day for one week.
Please note: Kegel exercise recommendations may vary if you do not like my regimen feel free to find one suitable for you.

Once you have learned this you are ready to learn the next component of becoming a multi-orgasmic male. It is important that you keep at your Kegels while learning the next step, but you should not continue to this step until you have completed the four weeks of Kegel training. The next step involves identifying when you are about have an orgasm and when you are about to ejaculate. This step can be tedious or unpleasant to began but it is part of the learning process. The best way to learn this is through self pleasure either by yourself or with the help of your partner. The first time you want to masturbate as you normally would until you ejaculate. Observe what that felt like. The next time, masturbate until you are just about to ejaculate; self pleasure until you reach the point of no return. This is the point when you try to stop but know that it is to late and ejaculation will occur. Observe what this feels like and how it is different from self pleasuring until there is a release. Next, you want to start focusing on the moment just before the point of return. Self pleasure until you feel you are approaching the point of return, and either slow your movements or stop pleasuring, and see what this feeling feels like. Play around with this and see what point feels best to stop. Also, play with how long you wait until you slow down or change the stimulation. Once you have found this try self pleasuring to that point and completely stopping with no ejaculation. If there is a scale of one to five for this, one being completely not aroused and five being ejaculation, your goal is to be between three and four. So discover what three or four feels like for you. Once you are able to identify this point, try self pleasuring and working your arousal to a three or four, continuing the stimulation try to maintain that three or four in whatever way needed even if its just stoping for a second. By the end of this practice you should be able to identify your point of no return, you should also be able to keep yourself between a three and four, and lastly you should know what its like to not have an ejaculation though you are highly aroused.

Lets Put the Two Techniques Together.

It is important that throughout this process you have patience, relax, and know that it take time to master this technique. Now that you know how to use your PC muscles and you are able to identify when you are about to ejaculate you can combine the two. This time practice the same self pleasure technique but when you feel yourself going past a three or four level of arousal or you feel yourself about to be to the point of no return contract your PC muscles and hold them for ten seconds as firmly as you can. Then slowly let go and repeating if you feel your arousal is still high or u still feel the urge to ejaculate. Practice arousing yourself to when you are just about to ejaculate and use your PC muscles to hold the ejaculate. This may take a few times before you are able to do this without ejaculating. Practice with it, its ok to ejaculate you can always start over. The key to mastering this is to relax, practice, knowing your body and what the stages of your SRC feel like, and maintaining your pc muscles. The more relaxed you are and the stronger your pc muscles are the better you will be at this technique. Also, remember that orgasm and ejaculation are separate. Learning to separate the two mentally and physically will also help to master this technique. Once you feel comfortable with this you can practice with your partner and enjoy the benefits, holding of ejaculation and experiencing as many orgasms as you would like, then ejaculating if you wish after.

This is the basic components of becoming multi-orgasmic-male. Though there are many more techniques and theories that can be used in the Tantric practices, these steps are the foundation. I recommend reading The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava. This book discusses the history of multi-orgasmic men and its benefits from an Eastern and Western view. Remember this takes time, and practice so don’t get frustrated. Also, these basic exercises are good for overall men’s sexual health. Kegel can help achieve and maintain a stronger longer lasting erection, while the area just before the “million-dollar-spot” can be a source of instant pleasure. So experiment and find what works for you. Most of all have fun.


If you have any questions about this post or anything sexually related please contact theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Can a Woman Change the Way Her Lubricant Tastes?

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Slippery When Wet

When you think of lube what do you think of.. Someone having anal sex? A lady/woman who doesn't produce as much lubrication as she/you would like? Self pleasure? Going to have a PAP test? To make tampon use easier? To keep condoms from breaking? To enhance sensation when using condoms? Or simply to try something different? Most people do not realize that there are many lubricant options available that can be used for a variety of activities.

Everyone Knows the usual lubes available at your local pharmacy, Target, Wall-Mart, Costco, or grocery store. Yes, these are ok to use, but maybe its to thick, to stick, doesn't last long, its irritating, it stains your bed sheets. There are more options thank KY, Astroglide, and Trojan brand lube. Don't limit yourself to your local store that has whatever available.

By the end of this read I hope that you get an idea of the choices available to you.

Pjur USA: Uses premium quality products to produce their lubricant, it is hypoallergenic and condom safe. It is available in Original:silicone lubricant, Light: uses the lightest silicone available. Power: thick water-based silicone cream formula.

Liquid Silk: Water based lubricant, also conditions the skin doesn't leave the tacky feeling. Also designed to reduce the amount of tearing that occurs during intercourse. It also aids in stoping the spread in bacteria, fungal spores, and yeast infections.

Pink Silicone Lubricant for Women: Moisturizing lubricant for women and is good to aid in the use tampons. It comes in a fancy Italian glass bottle and an easy to use pump bottle. this product is Hypoallergenic, contains Vitamin E and Aloe Vera, and washes off easy.

System JO: This brand carries a variety of lines that are a great quality and they have something for just about everyone. some Choose from JO Premium, JO H20, JO for Women, Jo Flavored H20 Lubricants.

Slippery Stuff: This lube is tasteless and odorless. It is very thick and is excellent for anal sex or anal play.

SwissNavy: Thin and silky high grade lubricant that does not stain and lasts long.

These are just a few options available, next time you are at the story try something new. Look for new resources to buy lube like GoodVibrations online (or in the store) or directly from the brand. Experiment and enjoy.

Remember. Silicone lubes should not be used on silicone sex toys as they may break down the silicone texture of the toy. Also when using condoms with lube only use a few drops; too much may cause the condom to slip. Use thick lube during anal sex and make sure to be generous the anus has no natural lubrication. Also, remember just because you use, want, or need more lubrication than you naturally produce does not make one inadequate.

Enjoy.

If you have any questions about this post or any others please contact theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Labiaplasty the latest trend in extreme plastic surgery.

Flowers are beautiful they come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Like humans, no two flowers are alike. Flowers are a plants reproductive organ. If you ever take time to look flowers resemble the female vulva in many ways. They have a little bulb like area near the top that are similar to the clitoris in shape and positioning, they have petals that surround the flower that are similar to that of labia. Sometimes when you look at flowers it can be almost as arousing as looking at genitals.



This topic is especially for the Ladies but men should read this also. I have noticed lately that women have been putting themselves through unneeded body modification; cosmetic plastic surgery. There was a time when breast implants were a far leap but that was the new thing women were doing to make themselves more beautiful or more acceptable by society. Yes some women did it to feel sexier or for an increase in self-esttem, and there are women some do it as a result of a loss of their breast. Then suddenly women started to appear with what seemed almost cartoonish bottom. Not every female in the entertainment has a naturally large amount of junk in their trunk. In the last few years we have seen butt injections; silicone is injected into the gluteus to make ones bottom bigger their and hips appear wider. Both of these seem like extreme measures considering the health risks and the fact that it is not done as a cosmetic surgery to help one live a fuller life. In most cases it is done for body image issues and because there seems to be a trend in how much plastic surgery one can get. Lets put all this aside for a second and talk about an even more extreme surgery that women as young as 18 are having done its called a Labiaplasty. Some other terms used to describe this procedure are: labia minor reduction, labia reduction, or labioplasty.

A Labioplasty is: the removal of the labia majora or minora which are the folds of skin surrounding the vagina. Sometimes this is done due to damage of the labia, labia that are too long and cause discomfort. Some people do it for cosmetic purposes to make the vulva look cleaner, smaller, more attractive, and to make ones vagina appear tight and not loose. Below is a diagram of the female sex organ so you can see what where these structures are located.




This procedure has become a common way for women to feel younger, give the impression that they are sexually pure, and to look more normal. Where have these ideas come from? Why are women so willing to mutilate their body when they are perfectly natural? Why do doctors perform this surgery if it is not needed? All of these questions have endless answers but I will address the ones I think are important points and leave the rest open for discussion.

Women often don't have many resources to learn about their body. Often they learn about themselves from others, from men, or from what they see in various forms of media. Its not every day that women get together and discuss their sex organs like boys often do when they are first learning about their sex organs. Women don't have books to show them that every vulva is different. We are often told our genitals are ugly and not clean. All of this negative feed back is bound to create a negative association with one's genitals. Not many women have taken the time to explore with a mirror their genitals or share with their female friends, making for more mystery for what should be between one's legs.

Media: Most often women see other women's sex organs in pornography. While pornography can be fun, new, exciting, educational in some way, and arousing; It is an over glamorized depiction of the human body and sex in general. Women in porn are often potrayed as the perfect women in every way. It perpetuates that all women are the same down to what their genitals look like. Next time you watch an adult film notice that the women all have vaginas that look similar. They are small, their lips (labia) are exactly the same, their vaginas are bright pink from coloring procedures, and their anus is also bleached. These images we see are not representative of all women of various sizes and color. Below are various pictures taken from adult sites. Notices how they all look the same, but they are all different people.







The idea of a tight girl: the idea that if your vagina is loose= you are easy is also another contributing factor to this being a popular cosmetic surgery. What people don't realize is the labia do not determine the tightness of a woman's vagina. Labia come in all sizes, shapes, lengths and color; no woman shares the same vulva they are all different in some way. On labia may be longer than the other, they both may hang low, they may both be small, the inner lips may be bigger than the outer, but that does not make your vagina inadequate in any way. Tightness is also associated with being easy or how many guys you have had sex with. Some men and think that because your labia look a certain way they can determine if they are number one to have sex with you or number 500; almost always their predictions are wrong.

Why the labia are so great: Labia have many purposes and are made they way they are to serve some purpose. When you have intercourse or PV (penis-vagina) sex the friction from the labia can be quite arousing for your partner. Also the movement of the labia indirectly stimulates the clitoris because the clitoral hood is connected to the inner labia when the lips move it moves the clitoral hood stimulating the clitoris. The outer labia have nerves that are directly connected to the clitoris also so stimulation of the labia also stimulates the clitoris. Lastly, your labia make your vulva unique, it is a part of you love it own it accept them. But know that no two women are the same. Here are some pictures of vulvas in their variety.









So love your flower because it is yours and it is beautiful.

The following is a great resource for women to find books that show women's vaginas in their variety. Also, there is a link to their facebook page: I Love My Petals

The Petals website/book ordering: https://nickkarras.com/ILoveMyPetals.html

if you have any questions about this topic or any others please contact theesexdoc.blogspt@gmail.com

Did You Know?

I hope that this did you know will be fun, informative, and useable. Enjoy!

Penises come in many lengths, widths, girth, angle, and firmness. The average erect penis size is between five and seven inches. Though some people can have a larger or smaller penis. It can curve up, down, to the left or right.

Plastic wrap can be used instead of dental dams when having oral sex with a female (cunnilingus) or oral anal sex (analingus).

For every website that is not sex related there are five porn sites.

About 85% men and 65% women masturbate regularly

The average bra size is 36C

kIssing for a hour and a half burns 150 calories

Stay tuned for more sex facts!

If you have any questions about these sex facts email theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

what shall we discuss next.

Hello all.

I hope that my post have been entertaining and educational for everyone thus far. I would like to take this time to see if anyone has any special request for particular topics they would like to discuss. I know asking random strangers to contact me about something they want to talk/read about related to sex is a difficult task but here I am asking. I want to make sure everyone is included in my topics and that there is something for everyone to read. I will return soon with the latest post soon, but I wanted to let it be known that if there are any questions or comments please do not hesitate to post them or email them to theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com. All questions and requests are confidential.

Thank you and enjoy Dr. Butler's Sex Blog

Orgasms: So Simple yet So Complex

Orgasm: The moment of most intense pleasure during sexual activity.


This little word is such a big topic especially in popular culture. From G-spot stimulation to men having multiple orgasms there are books, movies, and websites that give you the step by step to having an orgasm. Its rare that people know what causes an orgasm, what it is or how it works. As a sexologist I am often asked "how do I know if I am having an orgasm". This easily answered for men, and harder for women as ladies do not have any spunk to go with the sexual release, though men do not have to ejaculate to have an orgasm. Before I explain an orgasm and how it works let me say: whatever your orgasm is enjoy it every orgasm is different; everyone experience's orgasms differently. The goal of this post is to give you a basic understanding of what causes orgasms and the things that occur in your body before orgasm. Part of being sexually healthy is knowing how your body works sexually.


There are four stages to orgasm that were first discovered by Masters and Johnson, they coined this the Human Sexual Response Cycle (SRC). This cycle consists of four stages: excitement/arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution; each stage builds upon each other.


During the excitement/ arousal stage the person becomes aroused by something, and your body starts to show physical signs of you becoming aroused. In this stage erection/ vaginal lubrication occurs. Muscle tension also begins at this stage. Both men and women experience nipple erections. Women's breast get fuller and the vagina expands. Your heart rate increases and more blood flows to your genitals. This is usually happening during kissing, touching, watching adult films, cuddling, etc..

Next comes plateau which occurs until sufficient amount of stimulation has occurred to cause orgasm. In phase two everything that occurred in the previous phase is still happening. Additionally, the vagina turns a deep purple color, and the testicles move closer to the body. The head of the penis and the head of the clitoris become extremely sensitive. Muscle tension and breathing increase. When women are pre-orgasmic they are often stuck in this phase, for they do not have enough stimulation or they are not relaxed enough to continue to the next stage.

Orgasm, the one we have all been waiting for, is a release of all the tension that has been built in the body. lasting only a few seconds This released is characterized by a feeling of greatness, relief, bliss, intense pleasure, some feel they have lost control or they have blacked out. There are about 8-15 rhythmic contractions at the lower third of the vagina and about 3-7 rhythmic contractions at the base of the penis. Kegel exercises can make these contractions more intense and more pleasurable. The man releases semen at orgasm and some women squirt or dribble a fluid from the urethra opening during orgasm. One may experience the need to grip or hold tight to something. Foot spasms and involuntary muscle contractions occur. Lastly, sex flush occurs on the chest and cheeks. This is a pinkish tint, more noticeable the lighter your skin, that appears on ones chest and cheeks. Sometimes sex flush looks like a rash on the persons body but disappears within five minutes.

Lastly, the rest period called resolution. For men this is the period lasting from a few minutes to a few days. During which time a man can not get and or maintain an erection. This is known known as the refractory period. For women the clitoris may be extremely and in some cases unbearably sensitive. There is an increased feeling of intimacy, a general well-being feeling, and in most cases fatigue.Women and men who are multi-orgasmic have little to no resolution phase; they fluctuate between the plateau and orgasm phase.

I hope that this will help you identify different states of arousal and orgasm. Also, knowing how your orgasm works can help you have better orgasms or even become orgasmic. Its important to relax and enjoy whatever good sensations you are having. Remember everyone experience orgasm different but the physical manifestations are the same. Everyone goes through the same phases though the time spent at each state may be different from person to person. Next time you are getting it on, however gets you going best, try to see if you notice what stage you are in.

If you have any questions about this post, any other post, or any non-related sex question please email: theesexdoc,blogspot@gmail.com

Dr. B's Intro Course to Sex Positions

Someone asked that I do an installment on sex positions. One would think this would be an easy task for a sex doc, but in actuality, there are so many positions available it was very difficult to pick and choose which positions I would write about. Interest in sex positions have dated back to before the 1800's and some of the oldest manuals on sex positions date back to "The Karma Sutra" and "Japanese Pillow Books" both were manuals on various sex positions. Most, if not all, positions have been duplicated in more current replications of sex manuals. Some of which are calenders that have a sex position for every day of the year, astrological sex positions, marriage manuals, and books that show you how to duplicate being a porn star. I could write a whole book on the variations of sex positions and what the popular one's are, but I have decided to make this a bit more educational. By the end of this read I hope that you will learn about positions that can help enhance ones sexual experience/enjoyment. Please note I will explain the positions and how they work during PV (Penis-Vagina, Heterosexual) sex, but in most cases they can be modified to your sexual preference.



Everyone Knows Missionary: For most people this position is common, at least 75% of the population have sex in this position. Missionary is when the woman lies on her back and the men lies on top of her. In this position the woman has less control of how deep the penetration is, the man has most of the control. I would not recommend this pose for women who enjoy/require more direct clitoral stimulation, but little stimulation is provided by rubbing/bumping of pelvises. Some people find this position boring; so to beef it up I recommend using a sex cushion under the pelvic to change the angle to your liking. Recession tip: a pillow or two works just as well. While this is a very basic position, it makes men orgasm (cum, ejaculate) quicker. This happens because there is more pelvic thrusting which increases tension in the muscles building sexual tension quicker than which occurs when there is less thrusting. Men who wish to hold off their orgasm or men who have premature ejaculation concerns should consider this before deciding on this position.



Ladies, though more work is required the best position to achieve maximal clitoral stimulation, control of penetration, and speed is the woman on top position. Because you and your partner have direct access to the clitoris you/your partner are able to use as little or as much stimulation as desired. Your parter can also help should you get tiered by helping lift and lower you during sex.


The Scissors is a great position for people who enjoy closeness, kissing, or being face to face with their partner during sex. The woman lies on her side and lifts one leg. Next the man lies on his side facing his partner and places his self sideway between her legs. The lady can wrap her legs around the partner's back or hold them straight out behind the partner's back. Both partners then move as they thrust in and out like scissors opening and closing. This position can be challenging at times but it provides excellent g-spot stimulation for the woman.



Kneeling Lotus (please note if you have any knee injuries this may not be the one for you; you may blow your load and knee out at the same time) is another good position for g-spot stimulation, while at the same time the angle of the penis may make for quicker orgasm. In this position the man is on his legs, knees bended. The woman then straddles her partner exactly like the woman on top position. You can wrap your arms around each if you would like. Again, this position does provide little clitoral stimulation but direct access to the clitoris is obstructed.


Doggy Style can be fun for both partners and can be done standing, on all fours or half and half. Traditionally the woman is on all fours ( hands and knees). The man gets on his knees and penetrates his partner from the back, vaginally or anally whichever you prefer, he can place his hands on her waist, breast, or shoulders to pull his partner in as he thrusts. He can also reach down to stimulate the clitoris. Variations: the woman can stimulate her clitoris, she can tug or rub the testicles, or massage the peranieum (the area of skin just behind the testicles but in front of the anus). Also she can put a pillow or a few under her upper body to change the angle of penetration. For a downward penetration lower down to rest on your knees and forearms.



69: this is more than just the Cancer zodiac representation; its a give give sex position. Either the man or the woman can lie on their back. the partner gets on top with their face facing their partners genitals. The couple then performs oral sex on each other at the same time.



DP: For some people find during sex "the more the merrier". If thats you the Double Penetration (DP) is the position for you. This requires three participants, two men a woman (other variations are: three men, three women, two women and one man). This position is a combination of doggy style and woman on top. One man lies on his back then the woman straddles him, his penis penetrating her vagina. The woman leans slightly forward and the other male then penetrates her anally in doggy style position. the woman moves up and down and both men can thrust as well.


In addition to cleverly named positions; you can incorporate office or household furniture, stand, or do it against the wall. Also, these and many other positions can be done with a sex swing either bolted in or one that can be installed and uninstalled. Remember theres always the kitchen counter, the bathroom tile, perhaps a sturdy chair. When it comes to sex positions the sky is the limit.

These positions and more are available in books, online, or via email at theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com

Resources: Some great books are available for various sex positions from in the bath to in the bed ranging from beginner to advanced

The Little Book of Wild Sex Positions by: Siobhan Kelly

The Anal Sex Position Guide:The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure by: Tristan Taormino

Ride Em' Cowgirl by: Dr. Sadie Allison

Remember: Stretch before you start.

show me your boobies. The latest trend in instant messaging

A friend told me about a site that has live face to face internet chatting. Kinda like AIM but new and improved. This site offers live face to face chatting and option to type though people can hear you and you can hear them. It is a free site and you are randomly connected with people all over the world. At times there are lots of people exposing their penis or jacking off or something to arouse them. At times there are people there just to chat with others. On my first encounters the common thing was boobies: flash your boobs, we want boobs, boobs or the kitten dies. etc. Women on this site seem to be scarce and when someone gets the chance, both men and women, come up with creative ways to attempt to get you to flash them. So, I thought I would see how many people I could get to flash me for my blog.

The Plan: I signed on for a day at random hours to see if people only did this at night however, flashing proposals are not restricted to time. So I got on. It was boobies or the next button. Sign On. Person one was already naked so I got free boobies no work required.

NUMBER 3 from Indiana "Corn Belt Baby". Turns out he was a willing participant in my boobies for blog adventure and he was the first male to flash me. Within the hour I was up to five and even got more than a boobie flash here and there.

930PM my day-time attempts proved quite successful and there were both male and female willing participants. I realized why the first thing people say on this site is boobies because that seemed to be the universal hello on chatroullete, and everyone shows them. But by night fall boobies were much harder to come by.. NOW people weren't willing to flash me if i didn't flash them; they at least wanted something in return. Ironically I experienced my first tit for tat so to speak with mr "Girl Olympics" on his screen he had a white board that read BRA =5; Booty=1; Boobs=1, he was taking tallies of what he got for the night. So I said to him "boobies for my blog please". His response was "I asked first". Their were a few moments of bartering and he though I would be sold on his last offer; If i showed him my bra he would do the chicken dance butt naked. I never realized how hot of a commodity breast are; not just in the U.S..

Mr. Nebraska.. i asked him to flash me and he responded "show me yours". I told him my boobs weren't to nice in an attempt to get him to flash me and he said "boobs are boobs". Mr. Nebraska you truly are a boob man.



So what have I learned?
Chatroullette is a great site for flashing and being flashed. You can have a conversation with people here and there or while flashing each other. This is a great site for people who are looking for someone to play-have sexual encounters or arousing experiences- with people from all over the world form various backgrounds. Some guys thought my proposal was great and they gave me chest, some guys though I was a chubby chaser, some women thought I was a lesbian, some wanted to give me a whole show beyond the boobies, the list goes on. Be prepared to see nudity, moments of explicit sex acts, moments of calmness, and moments of confusion. If you are a voyeur or exhibitionist this is the site for you. The best hours to get boobies quickly more often from women is early in the morning pacific standard time. By evening/night time people are looking to play, so if you just want to check it out, am is best.

What are people interested in talking/learning about?

Hello Everyone

Welcome to The Sex Doc's Blogspot.

This will be my first ever attempts to blog, so as I get acquainted with how blogging works I would like to know what are people interested in talking about. BDSM, Vanilla sex, Electrical Play, Making Safe Sex Sexy, LGBTQ topics, Sex Positions, Random Sex Facts, Sex Toys, Pornography, Erotic Books, or something I have not listed here.

Got questions? Post them here or email them to theesexdoc.blogspot@gmail.com. I will answer directly via email. Enjoy.